scanner's Open Salon Blog

My Yacht Has a Hole in It~

Tue, 29 May 2012 13:05:31 -0400

My yacht has a hole in it

the damn Limo just won't crank

the maids are all going on strike

and I just got call from the bank

banker-man says my funds are low

I tell him that can't be so

I'm a certified writer with a book out, son

Google me if you want to know

Just type in my name, mister

just go to the Amazon site

you'll see my name in big letters, man

on a book cover that looks just right

Everybody knows that we writers

who write these big-time books

are living large in Beverly Hills

and getting surgery to change our looks

I haven't checked my bank account

but it's gotta full of dough

I know I probably sold a million books

maybe two, I just don't know

Now they cut-up my credit card

the hotel is throwing me out of my suite

I guess the bank has screwed up somehow

I would call them but my cellphone has peaked

Everybody knows we writers

have our books made into screenplays

that's a million dollars right there, my man

and millions more when the movie gets made

so there must be some kind of error

there has to be some kind of mistake

what good is writing a book

if you're broke for Heaven's sake

I bet I know what happened

I'll bet no one has seen

I changed the authors name on my book

I'm now called Stephen King

The War Whistler

Sat, 26 May 2012 12:05:32 -0400

In Memory of my Father, a Whistling Man

SFC MACK J. SIBBETT

My daddy was a whistler

he whistled all the time

he whistled as the bombs fell

and the bullets flew overhead

a warrior thru two wars

who whistled through both

beaten and tortured as a POW

you get nuthin' from a whistling man

like most Vet's from WW11

he never carried hate in his heart

I never heard him complain, never

even while dying he thought of us

and he whistled all the time

to deal with the physical

to deal with the mental

pain of World Wars

and cancer of body and soul

he whistled and smiled

in front of strangers

and even in front of family

he whistled like the man he was

he came from a different age

"The Greatest Generation"

Tom Brokaw wrote

and these brave men

fought the last "good war"

my Dad's favorite tune

was by Woody Guthrie

as he worked or walked

he would always whistle

"Crawdad Hole"

and now I'm a whistler, too

who also whistles

"You get a line and..,

To my father on Memorial Day, Rest in Peace, I love you

Only You Can Stop "Going Rogue"

Fri, 25 May 2012 08:05:11 -0400

Palin_Cartoon_Moose_Afraid.jpg

Sarah Palin was on the Fair and Balanced Fox Blues show with host Sean "the truth shall set you free" Hannity yesterday and announced that Mitt Romney should "Go Rogue". I say, that just ain't fair. I'm asking Mrs. Palin as a citizen who just wants a fair election to let the best man win and to please, not go all out Rogue on President Obama.

Please don't talk presidential nominee Mitt Romney into considering Going Rogue. It will change the whole way democracy works. Going Rogue should not even be illegal, but when the Supreme Conservatives make corporations people and let billions of dollars of secret money into political contests, this just isn't fair.

The Half-Term Governor, who was the greatest Half-Term Governor in Alaskan history, told Hannity "I thought so in 2008 and that's why I went rogue, if you will, and disagreed with some of John McCain's advisers when they said, no, a lot of these issues like past associations and Rev. Wright and Bill Ayers and those that helped shape Obama's world view needed to be off the table and not discussed. I disagreed then, I disagree now."

I think it is great that Sen John McCain stopped Half-Term Governor Sarah Palin from going "All-Out Rogue" on Obama in 2008. My God, how the world would have changed. There would be peace everywhere when it was mandated that everyone must own at least one shotgun and have killed one Moose. Think of all the jobs that would spring up with people raising Moose(s?) to be slaughtered. There would be a Moose Shooting Farm in every city. Each child and adult from 10 to 100 must kill a Moose. That my friends is "Going Rogue to the Max".

Hannity said, "Obama was willing to bring up Romney's alleged 1965 gay bullying incident, putting a dog on his car roof, the so-called war on women and "throwing granny over the cliff" by privatizing Medicare -- but Republicans were refusing employ the same type of tactics."

Palin, never one to shy away from a free shot like this, shot back, "Amen, brother." She then went on to say, with that Grizzly Bear Mom stare, "A one-sided, cease-fire call is not something to agree to. Some of these GOP operatives, Sean, they seem to have the fighting instinct of [Sesame Street character] Mr. Snuffleupagus. And if you remember him, he would hide, he would back down, he would run the other direction."

"It's disgusting, the double standard," she added. "And I'm really tired of, again, too many in the GOP establishment just kind of kowtowing to what the left will dictate in terms of how this election is going to go."

I was blown away with that Rogue statement and my friends, this is only the beginning if Romney takes her advice and starts Going Rogue. Who knows what will happen. He may strap a Grizzly Bear to the top of his campaign plane and then my friends, the shit will hit the fan, or something, somewhere.

She finished with this warning that I think we should all take seriously, "It's disgusting, the double standard," she added. "And I'm really tired of, again, too many in the GOP establishment just kind of kowtowing to what the left will dictate in terms of how this election is going to go".

She is "really tired of it". OMG! What happens when a Grizzly Bear Mom gets tired and goes all-out Rogue on your ass? That's right, you get bit in the ass and that should not be allowed in any election, much less a presidential election. This has to be stopped. I ask that you to send me $3 to get a Grass-Roots organization started to try and keep anyone, including President Obama, no favorites here my friends, from "Going Rogue". It is up to you, but how can we teach our children to be good citizens when you have people "Going Rogue" all over the place. Let's keep "Going Rogue" in the nuclear arsenal to be used on enemies, not peaceful elections.

Just sent the $3 to me at ScannerStopsRogue.org and lets keep this election Fair and Balanced!

Thank You~

I'm Out of Air~

Tue, 22 May 2012 07:05:42 -0400

Last Year

I'm out of air. I'm out of ideas. I'm out of any motivation what-so-ever. I'm writing plenty. I have stuff backed up in my draft box, ready to push publish any time but it doesn't seem right somehow. I'm hurting so damn bad right now, I can barely type and the pain pills just aren't working anymore. I'm doing enough dope to put down a horse and I can hardly walk for the pain. I don't know what to do. I'm out of air, ya' know.

I know you're tired or hearing me complain, day after day like a child crying and running after their poor, downtrodden mother in a fucking grocery store, throwing stuff into the basket that she has to take out, slap the kids hand and keep pushing the buggy because she is counting every item, hoping the tax doesn't go over what she has bought, because $20 damn sure doesn't go as far as it used too. Out of air, you bet.

You ever count your friends. Your good friends, not acquaintances. I used to have a lot of friends. I was never alone, the phone was always ringing and there was always something to do, except it always included alcohol or drugs and life was no fun unless I was high. Sobriety was a joke and I loved getting high and having fun, constantly doing things. Fishing trips, camping trips, boating trips, etc., etc. it was great, but I always had to have a beer in my hand and some kind of dope in a pocket. So I quit. Now, I'm out of air.

What do sober people who don't believe in an invisible man in the sky who is a God but will "smite" you for stealing a bike, do? I'm a hermit, except I have a wife who puts up with me. I watched the final "House" last night and almost cried because I hate most TV and now this is another hour I have to fill in. I write. Boy, do I write. But most is shit and will be in the air somewhere, deleted until some smart-ass hacker figures out a way to find everything you've ever deleted and will publish it if you don't pay them. What you write never really disappears anyway, but at least it should never see the light of day. I am really our of air.

Not the air you breathe, that keeps you alive, oxygen, but the air that keeps you fucking motivated and wanting to get up in the morning. Well, if you call 3 a.m. morning. I don't know what it is, but I bet Steven King could write a book about why my eyes pop open at 3 a.m. every morning. It's the weirdest thing. I don't care when I go to bed or how much sleep I've had, at 3 a.m. my eyes open and I'm writing something in my head before I realize my eyes are open and the clock is on 3:00 on my digital. Air, fresh mountain breeze air. I've been in the south too damn long. I need some different air. I wish I was a kid again. I would damn sure find some.

The Cavalry Arrives

I wrote this post early this morning. As I got up to take the trash out a few minutes ago, the bird who laid her eggs on my porch last year is back, with a brand new crew. I counted five eggs, just like last year and maybe she brought me some fresh air. I will have a few pics in a few days and like last year, I hope they all survive. Last year, when one baby bird fell out of my chimney, Terri and I fed it with droppers but it didn't make it and I wrote this poem. It was so sad, until I saw another bird feeding it's baby and that is what life is about I guess. Life is always re-newing itself. I have to quit bitching so much and start watching the good things that happen in the world. Believe it or not, there is good in the world, you just have to look really hard to find it.

A Bird's Eye View

You watch them glide

through air overhead

riding the waves of the wind

thinking only of Mother Nature

and her graceful grandeur

defying the very laws

of gravity that keep us

mortals grounded

but once they were babies

breaking out of their shelled jails

kickin' and screamin'

wanting, wanting, wanting

Mother scourer's the Earth

searching for nurishment

to keep her babies alive

when out of the blue

one falls into the lap of a stranger

who watches in wonderment

as he fights for life

only succumbing to life's injustices

just a little baby bird

no more no less

in the scheme of things

just another dead thing

in a world filled with death

I only wish he could have

just once in his short life

felt the air under his wings

and looked at the world

from a birds-eye view

Life Is Fair?

Wed, 16 May 2012 11:05:20 -0400

Got a hurtin' feelin' in my legs today

don't feel like doing a'lot of walking

got a hangover headache from hell, I tell ya'

and I damn sure don't feel like talkin'

My back hurts when I bend over

so there won't be none of that

I hurt so bad my hair hurts

can't even wear my fuckin' hat

Eatin' pain pills like they candy

but they ain't no help at all

drinkin' gallons of Gallo white wine

but I'm still too sober to fall

I'd slit my wrists if my hands worked

hang myself if I could climb a chair

damn sure can't overdose on drugs

have you ever heard that "Life Ain't Fair"

I'm a very religious man, ya' know

Me and God are on the same set

but I slip the Devil a few silver shekels

cause I don't want to hedge my bets

I was a King in another life, my friend

A Queen in Freddie's band

I was a Beatle on an Egyptian Pyramid

and a Stone on the Wall in Jerusalem

so Lord take this pain away from me

give it to the dark brown man

they been hurtin' since you set them loose

of course the world will understand

Guess I'll pop me another Vicotin

maybe make a pain cocktail

just add a little cyanide

and take a nap in my Man-Made Hell

If I fail to wake up, man

don't you wail for me

I done more in one fuckin' day

than most people do in three

I was on the plane when the music ended

Jimmy and Janis bought the dope from me

sold the shotgun to man from Nirvana

I gave him the dope for free

I'll tell ya the last words uttered

from the man hangin' on the cross

he said "Life sure ain't fair my man

would somebody please call the Boss"~