Shmoo Mentality's Open Salon Blog

It's Your Own Damn Fault, Schlessinger

Fri, 20 Aug 2010 13:08:23 -0400

If Dr. Laura Schlessinger's slurry outburst on August 10 was hate speech—which it was, and this instance of hate speech is protected by the First Amendment—which it ought to be, then were Schlessinger's First Amendment rights violated by the backlash, as she claimed on the August 17 airing of Larry King Live?

For those of you in a rush, the answer is no. For those of you interested in a more thorough and theoretical exploration...the answer is still no, but let's see why:

Censorship—the suppression of First Amendment rights—comes in two flavors: chocolate and vanilla. Ha ha, but no really, censorship is either institutional (formal) or social (informal). Formal/institutional censorship is so-called because it is explicit and backed by legal authority (the FCC banning or fining the use of certain words or material on air). Informal/social censorship is pressure applied indirectly through self-correcting techniques like public shaming and negative economic incentives (the retraction of sponsors). You will note that I have chosen my parenthetical examples to show how Schlessinger was censored informally by society, but not formally by an institution (she has chosen not to renew her contract because of the retraction of major sponsors and the perceived persecution by the offended parties, while the FCC has yet to take action).

The kicker about Schlessinger's censorship is that it is self-inflicted. Because the censorship she experienced was solely informal and backed by no legal power, Schlessinger is necessarily complicit in her own repression. The culprit in the crime of Schlessinger's missing First Amendment rights turns out to be...Schlessinger herself! She crumpled at the lightest pressure, ostensibly calculating that her perceived victimization was worth more than winning back her sponsors (honestly, how hard could it be? Just let it all blow over and they'll come back) and continuing her radio show. Clearly the economic benefits of her hugely syndicated radio show mean nothing to her since she hardly hesitated to cut herself loose, so how much could the loss of some sponsors have really meant? No, Schlessinger's motivation was to follow the vogue in conservative circles and abandon one's personal responsibilities and commitments to chase some nebulous ur-freedom—or, you know, to become a huge celebrity with a pariah complex and whore out on book deals and the lecture circuit.

ShrtrCrft

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:07:04 -0400

Picture unrelated: it's Captain Hook's cameo in Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood.

Shorter Staff, The Official Starcraft Website

The Week of July 26, 2010¹

We heard Bobby Kotick ejaculates advertising money.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard, and lifted from Sadly, No! We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

¹ Also known as Date Zero in the New Testament, when "The faithful dutifully stood under the clouds that rained gold and the clouds parted and the Lord came from on high unto them, saying: 'I am ActiBlizzard, from the old god Blizzard,' and to show the disciples that He was of old Blizzard, He gave unto them a StarCraft 2 and the disciples saw that it was good and that their Lord spoke truthfully and they revered Him unfailingly forevermore." (Kerrigan 12:23)

Thanks to Flameberge of Rock, Paper, Shotgun for inspiration.

Stopping power stopping power stopping power

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 13:07:30 -0400

Above: Eggert in his mancave, designing his next revolutionary vidyaweapon.¹

Shorter Pascal "Firearms Don't Kill People, Politics Do" Eggert, The Firearm Blog²

On Guns in Video Games

I work for Crytek, the world's leading producer of obtuse tech demos, and spend too much time on 4chan's /k/ so it's CLIPS, not magazines. Wait...oh shit, I messed it up again. I'm sorry guys, I really am. Also could a real manufacturer please produce the overdesigned plastishits I linked at the bottom of the page so I can include them in later Cry-tekdemos?

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard, and lifted from Sadly, No! We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

¹ Kidz Korner: Kidz! There's one gun in this picture that won't catastrophically fail on you when the communists come for mommy and daddy. Do you know which one it is? Pick wisely, but fast! Daddy can only beg for his life for so long.

²Well gul-durn it Jesse, looks like there'n be only room for one firearm in this 'ere blurg, on accountin' a the usage a th' singl'r.

CUE a duel at high-noon between anthropomorphic guns. There's the stare, the twitchy fingers, and— *BANG* We hear: Urk! Fade to black before anything is revealed. The director is bludgeoned backstage and the production becomes a whodunit becomes a horror shock show when the entire cast is killed on stage and the audience is doused in pigs' blood. The screenwriter comes on stage and turns out to be a reanimated William Faulkner, who informs the audience that Yoknapatawpha County's rich sense of place has transmogrified into sentience and the County is trying to kill everyone while floating above Lafayette County a la, um, an artificially delineated geographical area floating above another one. The audience, disgusted by this hackjob of a show, goes to demand their money back but finds that everyone speaks in a Southern accent now. They are in Mississippi. They live out the rest of their new Southern lives in slackjawed disillusionment. The curtain falls to wild applause.

Tom Chick has other words you should read.

Deadliest Warrior The Majong Review

Mon, 19 Jul 2010 16:07:04 -0400

Above: Big Perm is his name, permmin' is his game.

Shorter Nate Ahearn, IGN LiveBox Jive

Deadliest Warrior: The Game Review

"The notion of having a fighting game that pits a pirate against a viking is just as awesome as it sounds."¹

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard, and lifted from Sadly, No! We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

¹Also found here. Can we get some original writing in here?

Video Games Ought To Be...

Mon, 19 Jul 2010 15:07:00 -0400

Above: AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! Oh wait, nevermind. Phew.

Shorter Worker Drone #38574, Gawker Sweatshop #12

Inception Review: Video Games Should Be Jealous

Video games should be as derivative as possible. Like this movie. Also, pointlessly starstudded.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard, and lifted from Sadly, No! We are aware of all Internet traditions.™