Skeptic Turtle's Open Salon Blog

Who will I be in a year?

Fri, 16 Dec 2011 13:12:50 -0500

So I took a sabbatical from Open Salon. Thirteen months. This was back to back with a previous multi-month sabbatical. So it's been awhile. A lot of familiar names still abound these parts, but the place has sure changed in that time. Not for the better. Not for the worse. Just different.

It caused me to reflect on how I have changed in this time. A few changes in the last year or so.

First off, my overworked wife found out she was gluten intollerant. I'm a decent cook, but have always sworn that I DO NOT BAKE. But with gluten free options limited, I have become a baker out of necessity. Now I love it! Besides watching the Packers destroy another team, baking is my favorite thing about each weekend. I wake up Saturday morning thinking about what I'm going to bake today. Who is this guy?

I've also become a runner. Not a crazy long distance freak. But I've done a bunch of 5Ks and a couple 10Ks. I used to make fun of runners. "What's the point? Isn't that incredibly boring?" But now I love to run. I got a treadmill when it's cold and when it's OK, I head out the door and run along the Mississippi River gorge in Minneapolis. It's fantastic. Who is this guy?

I've always rolled my eyes in judgement at any non-sedan vehicle. But, in the last year I've been expressing mounting disappointment that our last car purchase was NOT a minivan. "A minivan would be SO, SO useful!" I tell the horrified wife. "We should have gotten a minivan. Or next car should be a minivan." Who is this guy?

Last May, our tiny, sweet cat, Maggie, passed away. She was old and had been with us since before children. We miss her very much. I was a cat person and had to twist the wife's arm to get one when we moved back to Minnesota. She leveraged it by making me agreeing to get a dog a few years later. Now, 7 months in a cat-free home, the three ladies of the house are begging for a new cat, and I'm the holdout, responding that "Aren't dogs a better pet choice than a cat? We don't need a cat." Who is this guy?

I've always been a progressive/leftist/socialist/independent/Democrat type. I've generally held Republicans with little esteem. But...

So it's come to this? Caging people for money

Tue, 16 Nov 2010 11:11:52 -0500

We all continue to struggle under the boot of the George W. Bush economy. Nonprofits are included.

The ones that survive have needed to find creative ways to raise funds. Now, they're locking people in cages for our viewing enjoyment.

Inside a "cage" is Ben. Ben works for Bedlam Theatre in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is a former colleague of mine at Bedlam. (I am no longer associated with Bedlam.)

Bedlam is a radical, edgy place, as its name implies. They've put on original, award winning works about turduckens made by renaissance fest rejects and mermaids plotting to kill Salvador Dali. So, it's not a surprise they'd raise money by creating a 24 hour live stream of a guy in a cage.

And it's not just that. For every 25 donors, Ben gets a snack of the donors' choosing. For every 100 donors, Ben gets a bathroom break. In the first ten hours, they got 30 donors. Poor Ben.

Why would you watch a guy in a cage? Well, there's more. They started the stream with multiple people rehearsing a play and mock "bear" fights and talking about what they're going to do with the funds. It's educational and interesting. At times.

The day is part of a statewide, online giving campaign, called Give to the Max. Nonprofits across Minnesota are asking donors for money during this 24 hour period. Many donations are matched. I created my own fundraising page for my favorite nonprofit. Here's Bedlam Theatre's page.

I care about this nonprofit. I know these people. So I don't think I can objectively evaluate this approach. So...

Is this an appropriate way to raise money? Is it a sign of the degradation of our reality TV society? Or is it an edgy way to raise a little bit of much needed money?

Voting in Minneapolis

Tue, 2 Nov 2010 14:11:20 -0400

About 8:30 this morning, the whole family went to the polling place for Ward 9, Precinct 1 of Minneapolis. The two kids sat with us and watched us fill out our ballots. The seven year old got a kick out of me writing in a neighbor's name in the uncontested sheriff's race. (The incumbent is a racist boob.)

We were voters #86 and #87 respectively. Our city has pretty high voter turnout but we're in a lower voting precinct. I'm sure neighboring precincts had double that number by then.

The polling location was in the basement of a Lutheran church. Generally I think polling places should stay out of religious insititutions, but what can you do?

We had three neighbors on our block working the polls. We said hello and thanked them for their work. The whole process was pretty smooth and without any lines, although voters continued to trickle in the whole time. Most of my time was spent voting for incumbents in about three hundred judicial races. (OK, a slight exaggeration...)

Besides the state and district judges, I voted for candidates for Congress, Governor and Lt. Governor, state Attorney-General, state Auditor, state Secretary of State, state Senator, state Representative, district school board, soil and water supervisor, a city charter amendement on the redistricting process, county sheriff, county attorney, and county commissioner. Only in a couple cases did I have to hold my nose.

My polling location.

Always a skinny kid?

Tue, 7 Sep 2010 13:09:15 -0400

Conventional wisdom holds that people who grow up chubby or overweight, but lose the pounds in adulthood, still have "fat kid complex." The idea, as understand it, is that adults who get in shape and lose weight still see themselves as the "fat" person they were for years in terms of self-esteem and body image. It's a nasty kind of "baggage."

I come from the opposite direction. I was a skinny kid who barely had an ounce of fat on him. That is, until my 20s.

Skinny guy in a giant coat (The College Years)

12 years later: Hiding my gut under a big t-shirt

The same year that I settled down with my girlfriend (turned wife), graduated from college, starting cooking for myself, started drinking regularly, and began a desk job, I began to gain weight. Imagine that!

Over several years I went from skin and bones to beer gut. Because I was a "skinny kid" I barely noticed. Sure I obviously gained a few pounds, but I never thought of myself as fat and overweight.

During the years I made some half-hearted efforts at getting fit after noticing a little belly. I joined the Y for a bit. Jogged briefly. Biked some. It didn't make a darn difference and I didn't really care.

I was still a skinny kid, afterall. A skinny kid with a little bit of a gut.

Finally, I was pressured and agreed to do Weight Watchers with the wife. Over six frustrating months I lost over 20 pounds. I felt better. I had more energy. I lost 3 inches off my waistline.

Maybe I hadn't been a skinny kid with a little extra weight, but instead your typical overwieght American adult? No, not me.

After many months of staying trim, I got lazy. I got stressed. When I'm stressed, I eat. A year later, I was nearly back up to my previous peak. Looking at the mirror closely it was clear: I bore no resemblance to a skinny kid.

Again, along with the wife, I began jogging regularly. After a few months I began to track my calories more closely. Six months later, I'm down 15 pounds. I still have 5 pounds to go before I'm no longer officially overweight. While I'm feeling pretty good about my progress, I'm still not a skinny kid.

That's OK. Perhaps I will never be a skinny kid. Maybe I can finally shed that self image and just be me. The label of being fat or skinny doesn't help. I just need to focus on being healthy, staying in a healthy weight range, and not stress eating. I won't be a skinny kid, I'll just be me.

Suppressing my inner prude

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 15:07:40 -0400

My name is Skeptic Turtle and I'm a prude.

Everybody please say it together: "Hi, Skeptic."

Thanks. Hi. Yes. I admit it. Growing up Catholic must have been part of it. My folks were pretty open minded, but then again my mother would mutter about men with long hair needed to get hair cuts and about girls who dressed too provocatively.

Starting with that upbringing, I added feminist theory in college. I read Mary Daly, Catharine MacKinnon, and Andrea Dworkin and took their theories to heart. How does a young heterosexual man with hormones reconcile Andrea Dworkin? Let's just say I didn't date much for a couple years.

^{Andrea Dworkin mocking me}

I was the campus radical who was also anti-drinking, anti-drugs, anti-sex. Yeah, real fun at a party! Since those days when I had everything figured out, I've loosened up some. My inner prude still rules.

So when I hear a six year old singing Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back, I don't know how to respond. Initially, I find it troubling. Little kids. Sexuality. Body image problems. Entrenched gender norms. I find this confluence troubling.

I check myself. Is it really a big deal that a kid is singing about big butts? Does it do harm to her or others? Am I being a hypersensitive, humorless bore?

Sure that song encapuslates messages I don't wish to direct to my children. Is the solution to get offended and try to suppress? Kids are going to get all sorts of undesirable messages. Perhaps the focus should be on counterbalancing with other messages that deal with body image and sexual roles. Is it really a big deal that some guy likes to talk about how big butts get him hot and bothered?

This morning a friend brought to my attention a local event coming up called the Skirt Chaser 5K. It's a promotion for a sportswear company that makes sporty skirts. All women participants are required to wear the skirts and get a three minute head start. The men get to try to "catch" the women. Get it? Ha! Ha! Ha... Wuh?

"The post-race Block Party includes happy-hour style food and drinks, dating games and a fashion show- all the way down to the skivvies!"

Nothing like finishing up being literally chased by dozens of sweaty men for half an hour and then engage in some cheesy dating games! Now that's icing on the cake!

Am I just being a humorless prude again? So what if someone wants to organize a consensual event that involves some light battle of the sexes meet a dating game show?

It's a question of degrees, but this run crosses the line. Violence in relationships and workplace sexual harrassment continue to be problems in our communities. How can a public event that celebrates "skirt chasing" not be a slap in the face of women in the community who have undergone unwelcome advances from skirt chasers or dealt with men who have figuratively or literally run them down? Didn't the phrase "skirt chasing" stop being funny about 30 years ago?

I get it. It's a clever idea to promote skirts sportswear, but that doesn't make it inoffensive. Maybe I'm a prude. But I wish the PR people for this sport skirt company had a few more scruples.

Oh, and kids under 13 can participate and it costs more for women to enter (because they get a skirt!) Baby, you've come a long way!

Post Script

The Skirt Chaser 5K has already been held in 5 cities this year and will be held in 7 more. To see if your community is hosting one, check out the website.

A total of 3,174 people have participated in the first five races of this year. Women have outnumbered men almost 2 to 1. In all but one race at least one woman has been able to outrun all the men.

I did a scientific poll of Facebook friends on the matter. People were split on whether it was offensive, but they overwhelmingly thought it was stupid.