T.S.'s Open Salon Blog

Some of you have missed me...

Sun, 4 Mar 2012 14:03:23 -0500

Just wanted to let you guys know, I appreciate all of your prayers, I'm fighting cancer and now have turned to Alternative Cures, as modern medicine won't allow anything other that treating you as a chronic patient or a dead former chronic patient.

God bless all of you for your continued prayers and well wishes...but I still want Obama out in Nov....

T.S.

Scrambled Egg on My Puss

Sat, 21 Aug 2010 00:08:05 -0400

Scrambed Egg On my Puss

My dreams lit the fuse that ignited my brain

Causing my mind to explode into colors of death

Black with the undertones of a pale mortician

Drained of a vibrant reality, with copper pennies for eyes

I entered eternity with my lips stitched shut

Who knew that this was to be my fate?

My last date, my last breath, my last taste

Of bacon and eggs, toast and jam, forgive me Lord

I am what I am

2010 © T.S.

U.K.

I’m a liar and a thief with both hands and my tongue removed

Welcome to my world you Muslim mother fuckers

You and I have everything and yet nothing to lose

Because the facts are the virgins are all whores

And God is hiding from truth…

We are all alone with just a cell phone for comfort…

Enter your password and hit pound

To hear your messages ...

2010 © T.S.

al-Qa'ida pussies can't hold a candle to Christ

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:07:47 -0400

Send all hate mail c/o NY Times

al-Qa'ida pussies

I sent a telegram from behind enemy lines

To my love and the mother of my only child

It read please remember to turn off the radio

And be sure to feed the parrot before departing for paradise….

Not that she would blow up a perfectly good plane

Or even a 53 Buick with a worn out engine and toothless grille….

It’s just that with the entire world, chromed and engulfed in chaos

Bleeding from your nose somehow doesn’t seem quite so morose…

And we go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda…

With you and Matilda waltzing with me….

2010 T.S. ©

Watching Sarah Palin....

Sat, 17 Jul 2010 16:07:03 -0400

“She pulls the eyes out with a face like a magnet”

(from,watching the detectives-elvis costello)

Mama Grizzly, I respectfully decline

to discuss just how hot I think you are,

for a number of reasons, the least of which

is my wife is a Grizzly too.

Sarah, you are a formidable beauty queen

not to mention a political dream girl

of any possible Conservative dream team

Be you paired with Romney or Huckabee

you are no Presidential hack or wannabe….

You are the real deal, and I've got a deal for you….

God how I love that platform she is running on....

She frosts my flakes.....

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, What a Constitution you have!

Like Flies We Gather to the Honey

Wed, 7 Jul 2010 11:07:28 -0400

Like Flies We Gatherto the Honey

I don’t know if it was the Spider that crawled into my bad inner ear and deposited her promiscuous eggs amongst my monogamous brain, or if it was the Cockroaches nit picking and weaseling their clotted boogers from my sleep, leaving only creepy dreams to defend the borders of Arizona’s great divide from their obvious invasion.

Plucking fingers, going from ears to other orifices of lesser gratification, I audition my stage act in front of the dogs of war… Two of which would bark when the moon is full of crap… as the others bury their bones in the hallowed ground and promised land of Milk and Honey…