William K. Wolfrum's Open Salon Blog

Mitt Romney hates cookies – Just like Hitler and Manson

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 10:04:57 -0400

As Mitt Romney begins his general election battle against President Barack Obama, intrepid reporters and pundits have stumbled across something about him that should terrify us all – Mitt Romney hates cookies.

Recently, in Pittsburgh, Romney insulted cookies from Bethel Bakery. This insult has reverberated across the nation. What kind of man hates cookies? I’ll tell you – an evil man.

Using historical research methods perfected by Jonah Goldberg, I have discovered that some of the most heinous men in history share one common trait – they despised cookies.

Take Adolf Hitler, for example. So many lives could have been saved if people had just read this passage in his book:

“Ich verachte Cookies und sie müssen von der Erde vertrieben werden!”

Translation: “I hate cookies and they must be driven from the Earth.”

Or there is the case of Charles Manson, who once wrote this in a poem.

“Wie Cookies und Böse, Mann, vergiften sie die Milch und der Mann isst sie und Speckschwarte und dann töten die Säuglinge von der Freiheit.”

Translation: “Like cookies and evil, man, they poison the milk and the man eats them and pork rinds and then kill the babies of the freedom.”

Chilling stuff, indeed.

These are just two cases, but it is obvious that people like Stalin, Jimmy Carter, Fidel Castro and countless other evil men have despised cookies. And no one has ever connected the two. It is time we see the truth behind cookie hatred – it is a sign of pure evil.

Am I saying that Mitt Romney will start a cult, commit genocide and put solar panels in the White House? Yes, that is exactly what I’m saying. That is why Cookiegate matters. In fact, it is the only thing that matters in the United States. Well, that and whatever Ted Nugent happens to say.

So remember, the coming election is about issues and you have two choice – a noted cookie lover in Barack Obama, or an evil, sick man like Mitt Romney who despises cookies and humanity. Choose correctly or pay the consequences.

–WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

Breaking: Mitt Romney makes a Black friend

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 10:04:12 -0400

Mitt Romney shares a laugh with new Black friend "Herman."

MASSACHUSETTS — After essentially sewing up the GOP nomination this week, Mitt Romney has begun the long process of connecting with the American public. Earlier this week, Romney strengthened his appeal with women by having wife Ann tell the world that her life is just like theirs and that she doesn’t even feel wealthy despite a family fortune of a quarter-billion dollars.

With the women vote taken care of, Romney has now moved on to another potential electoral weakness – African-Americans. After a recent story came out that showed Romney has no African-Americans on his staff, the former governor came out today announcing that he had recently made a Black friend.

“I met a guy named Herman earlier this year, and let me tell you, he’s just a delight,” said Romney. “He’s really one of the good ones.”

Romney’s new friend “Herman” is a businessman and amateur economist. Romney said that he will use his new friend to keep him updated on the needs of African-Americans.

“More than once, Herman and I have sat down for a traditional African-American meal of pizza,” said Romney. “I really will depend on him to let me know about the needs of the African-American community.”

Reached for comment, “Herman” said that Romney will be a better friend to African-Americans than President Barack Obama, and that Romney’s economic plans will create opportunities for Blacks.

“I believe these words came from the Pokémon movie,” said Herman. “Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, it’s never easy when there is so much on the line. But you and I can make a difference.”

With the women and African-American issues out of the way, Romney said he will now focus the rest of his campaign on real Americans, noting that he already has close experience with Mexican-Americans, having employed hundreds of them over the years to mow his lawn and clean his pool.

–WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

Men Stopping Violence: Helping men help women

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 08:11:30 -0500

Acts of violence by men against women do not begin with the act of violence itself. But whether it be upbringing or societal factors, there is always one factor that remains the same in every act of male violence against woman – the presence of a man willing to commit said act of violence.

It’s these men that the organization Men Stopping Violence is attempting to reach. Its Mission Statement – “To mobilize men to use their many strengths for creating a society free from violence against women.” Created in 1982, Men Stopping Violence has used a plethora of techniques and programs to get men into the conversation about violence against women, and has had success in changing the dialog.

“We believe that we have played an important role in helping people understand that if we are going to END violence against women, we must engage men in this work,” said Men Stopping Violence Executive Director Shelley Serdahely in an e-mail exchange.

While other organizations have taken a similar concept in dealing with violence against women, it is the methods and strength of MSV that has made it stand out as an organization that is making real strides in the effort to change cultural and community attitudes toward violence against women. MSV programs include:

Because We Have Daughters: “Why would men want to get involved in ending violence against women?” The answer: “because they have daughters.” And Mothers and sisters and friends. This Father-and-daughter class teaches fathers about the risks and realities faced by their daughters.

Tactics and Choices: In conjunction with the DeKalb County Magistrate Court, this twice-monthly class for some men who have been arrested for domestic violence offenses examines men’s use of abusive and intimidating tactics against women, and tactics used to enforce and maintain power and control. The use of videos and other educational materials prompt men to engage in a dialogue that explores their behavioral choices.

Community Restoration Program: The group’s original intent was to offer men who had finished the 24-week program an ongoing connection and support and opportunities to volunteer with MSV. Over the years, the role of CRP has expanded to include more direct community advocacy.

Serdahely said that while the essential mission of the organization remains the same, MSV’s techniques and focus have evolved over the years.

“When MSV began, we conducted classes for men who had been identified as abusive or violent. That was intervention work. Thirty years later, almost all our work is prevention work,” said Serdahely. “We continue to provide the classes, but have incorporated modules in the curriculum that require students to share something they have learned in the class with at least four men in their community.”

The efforts of MSV have transcended borders. CNN Headline News Anchor Richelle Carey – who works with MSV as a VP on its Board of directors and tireless advocate – said she has been thrilled to see the message of MSV go worldwide.

“Moses Okoth, a Kenyan, is working to end violence against women while collaborating with us, said Carey in an e-mail exchange. “He embraces – in fact – embodies our mission and our philosophy that men must play a role in creating safe communities for women and girls. He wants to start MSV classes where he lives and other parts of Africa. We speak with him weekly and are in constant contact with him online.”

Other well-known figures that have worked with MSV include Congressman John Lewis, Lynn Rosenthal, Special Advisor to the President on Violence Against Women, Baroness Scotland, former Attorney General of Great Britain and Dr. Johnnetta Cole.

But while Serdahely – who will soon be leaving her position to devote her time to fundraising efforts for MSV – and MSV have truly made strides in educating men about violence against women, the battle remains difficult. Via television, magazines and all other media outlets, the portrayal of women is often one that gives young men a perverted view of women overall.

Men are taught that one of the rewards of manhood is sex on demand and that a female or child is not someone, but something, to be used or possessed by males,” said Serdahely. “Media and advertising play a key role in teaching that lesson by portraying women and girls as sexual objects.

“We challenge men to check the ways they buy in to that portrayal. That is part of the 24 week classes we continue to lead, all the training we conduct for institutions and communities, the Allies group, and the work we do with interns. It will be included in the syllabus for the class we will be teaching at Emory University this spring,” added Serdahely.

Possibilities

What They’re Saying About Men Stopping Violence

“What motivated me to become active were the comments and conversation surrounding Chris Brown’s assault on Rhianna. I was so disturbed by some viewer comments and comments from people I knew who implied she somehow played a role in being beaten. I was especially sad to hear young people describe it as “just fighting.” At that moment I knew I had to do something. I didn’t grow up around domestic violence, but it was clear to me then that it’s not the other person’s problem. It’s everyone’s problem and everyone’s responsibility to end violence against women.”

– HLN News Anchor Richelle Carey

“I gained a greater appreciation for the challenges associated with men being involved with the fight against violence against women. I began to value the role of women as leaders in this effort, and I learned a whole lot about patriarchal society and how it informs our views and actions.”

– Ronald McClain, President and CEO of Family Services of Greater New Orleans. Attended the MSV training institute, “Closing the Gap.”

My name is Richard C. Brown Sr., Clayton County, Associate Magistrate Court Judge. I had the opportunity to participate in one of your Domestic Violence Classes at the Dekalb County Courthouse on Friday, November 5, 2010. Simply stated, It was excellent!!! I would go so far as to say that it was the most powerful display of human interaction and transformation that I have ever witnessed, within such a limited and short period of time. I have been in the Criminal Justice field for over 35 years and I have seen it all while serving as a City of Atlanta, crime scene clerk, technician, corrections officer, sergeant and lieutenant, internal affairs prosecutor and assistant public defender.

– The above was written about the MSV class, Tactics and Choices

If men are going to be part of the process of ending violence against women, it requires knowledge of ourselves and the part we play. As men engaged in this task, we take the important step of asking ourselves tough questions that take a lot of courage to answer candidly. It isn’t always pretty, but when you come through it, it allows you to reach out to other men and help them make lasting positive changes.

– Jeremy Coppels

Get Involved

Founding Executive Director Kathleen Carlin once said that “Hope isn’t about believing we can change things. Hope is about believing what we do matters.” If you are interested in getting involved with Men Stopping Violence or helping them continue their work, you can:

Donate to support the programs of MSV.
Request training for your organization or community.
Take a stand on a current issue.
Attend a MSV event.
Share what we do with colleagues and friends.
Volunteer your time and talents.
View our brochures, including What You Can Say and Do to Make a Difference.

For more information, contact Men Stopping Violence here.

On Twitter: @MenStopViolence

On Facebook: Men Stopping Violence

--WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

Shia LeBeouf - I tapped that

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 09:06:00 -0400

When I saw that Shia LeBeouf told the media that he had "hooked up" with Megan Fox, I was not surprised. After all, I have hooked up with him, as well

Yes, friends, I, noted comma user, William K. Wolfrum, have hooked up Shia LeBeouf.

The first time was on the set of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. We both figured we'd never work again, so what the hell?

The next time I hooked up with Shia Lebeouf was on a cruise ship. We were with different people, but everyone on the cruise tries to get you to like everyone and you want to like everyone and they want to like you and, well, you know.

There was the time we just passed each other on the street when I wanted to congratulate him on his new career as a stock broker. (Interoil is down $15 since you were pumping it, btw, Shia Lebeouf.)

Or when we worked as stock boys at a TJ Maxx. Hey, management encouraged us to get along.

There were other times, as well, but really who can remember all the hooking up one does. I'm sure Shia Lebeouf (he demands people always call him by his full name. It's a little off-putting.) won't mind me mentioning it. Maybe I should wake him up and ask him?

Anyway, let me just finish with this:

Shia LeBeouf - I tapped that.

--WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

Dallas Mavericks show the Left that the Team is the thing

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 10:06:50 -0400

As the clock struck zero and the NBA Finals ended, the national sports media found itself forced to focus solely on the Dallas Mavericks. The time for analyzing and re-analyzing Lebron James and the star-studded Miami Heat had come to an end. There was a new champion in town, and the time had come to praise the victors.

Mind you, this wasn't a chore for the media. The NBA Champion Dallas Mavericks are an eclectic group. From their mercurial owner Mark Cuban, to their on-court leader Dirk Nowitzki, to a a roster filled with familiar names and long journeys, this was a Team to celebrate. In beating the vaunted Big Three of the Heat – James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh – the Mavericks had shown themselves to be what sportswriters most love – a great Team.

Watching it all unfold, I was struck by how much the Left could learn from these Mavericks, and how similar the travails of both have been these many years. Few teams in the NBA have dealt with more disappointment and failure than the Mavericks. Year after year Dallas put a team on the court that would cruise through the regular season, only to see it all collapse in the playoffs. Year after year, a talented group of men led by a singular superstar would head home without a prize.

The similarities to the Left are striking, especially the past few years. Led by one of the great superstars in political history – Barack Obama – the Left has fielded an impressive and diverse group of men and women, only to see pressure from inside and out defeat them.

Compare the 2006-2007 Mavericks with the 2009 Democrats. The Mavs blasted through the regular season, winning 67 games. Nowitzki took home the regular-season MVP award. Yet somehow this group was beaten in the first round of the playoffs by the lowly and oft-maligned Golden State Warriors. It was a collapse for the ages.

In 2009, Obama took home his MVP Trophy with the passage of Health-Care Reform. But as a team, the Left struggled and sputtered on nearly all key issues. Despite wild advantages for Democrats in the Senate and the House, the left never gelled and eventually became a group of individuals marching to different drummers. And in 2010, the lowly and oft-maligned Republicans dealt Democrats a brutal defeat in the mid-term elections.

As of June 2011, the Left is the Miami Heat not the Dallas Mavericks. It's a group with a leader that is both the most hated and most talented man in the game. It is a group that brings to mind greatness. But it is a group that collapses under pressure and plays as individuals when it matters most. It is now a group defined by its greatest defeats rather than important victories.

This is not a call for the Left to march lockstep with one another. After all, the Mavericks won the championship with a team of diverse personalities from diverse backgrounds. But whenever it mattered, they showed confidence and trust in one another. When it mattered most, the Ring became the Thing, and the entire Team was on the same page.

While it is an imperfect comparison, there is indeed a lesson the Left can take from the World Champion Dallas Mavericks. To achieve any victory, what's needed is confidence and trust. A group of spectacular solo artists will only take one so far, whether it be politics or basketball. But at the highest levels of both of these things, only one thing will garner true victory, whether that victory is an NBA Title or making life better for Americans – becoming and playing as a Team.

--WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles